Why I play a girl avatar by Logan Stargazer

Actually I play a shapeshifter but my main form is the smexiest avatar in Inworldz. I suppose I should start at the beginning. I was born in “The Grid Of Pure Evil And Greed Who’s Name We Do Not Speak” as a male avatar.

The Sexual Reasons Why I Play A Girl:

I am not gay, a cross-dresser, a transexual or anything like that in real life. I am very happy being a man and see myself as male in every way except one. Women have told me I am “way too tender and gentle to be a man”.

Like most guys I searched that grid for woman and I found them. These women all had a few things in common. They were single (so they said), female (so they said), willing to get intimate after some dancing and they were quite sick sexually. They wanted me to anally violate them while I pulled their hair and call them very bad names. They wanted me to gag them with my penis and hit them. They wanted me to drag them around by a neck collar and abuse them. They wanted me to treat them like shit. This is most definatly not my style of lovemaking in the least!

I did manage to make love to a few of them in my own way. I kissed them. I gently caressed them. I spoke words of affection and carefully and tenderly tried my best to bring them to multiple orgasms as I held them in my arms. I “made love” to them (vs “fucking” them). They responded quite negatively to this. They called me “a fag”, “not a man” and “a woman gender-playing”. One of them directly told me that I “make love like a fucking lesbian” and “not at all like a man does.” or words to that effect. That comment hurt but it gave me an idea.

I made a “bi-curious” girl avatar and went out to a few lesbian dance clubs. At one of them I met “Lara” (not her real name). Lara took this shy curious girl home with her and showed her how woman make love to other women. She held me in her arms and gently softly kissed me while telling me how beautiful I was. She slowly removed my clothes all the while caressing me and reassuring me that all was well and she cared for me. She tenderly and sweetly made love to me for at least two hours and it was beautiful. After it was over she held me in her arms and we talked for another hour or two (this, by the way,is how I make love to women. Perhaps I really am a lesbian lol). She even suggested that we become lovers so she could care for me. It was breathtaking. I fell in love with her that night. I still love her after all these years. Yes, it was that special. I couldn’t stay with her of course; I wasn’t a real life woman and I’d just hurt her if she found out since in our talks it came out that she despised anything male and just the thought of a man made her sick.

I figured that I had just had amazingly good luck and had found a very good woman so I tried more visits to that place and others. Women are people of course and have their own personalites. I met a (very) few female assholes but over all Lara was quite typical. The vast majority of gay/bi women I met were like her. If the lovemaking took less than an hour it was only because the kids were hungry and if it got a bit rough that was an accident. I should add that a few of these women made comments to the effect that they had at first thought I may be a man pretending to be a woman but after a while they knew I was a woman in real life because I was so gentle and caring and only women make love like that. Many asked me to partner on the spot and of course I had to decline since I assume they’d want a real life woman and not a gender player. I spent years playing both my male avatar and my girl. I played the guy for building and the girl for loving.

My career as a girl avatar was (and is) a combination of great joy and great sadness. The joy was simple. As a girl I could make love my way. I spent my time while in female form fulfilling my burning need to give affection. Yes, I could do that as a male avatar but there was a huge catch to it. The only women I met while in male form who wanted a gentle, tender and caring lover were married in real life. These poor sweet ladies had asshole husbands who treated them like crap and they sought out men who would treat them well. Also, sadly, some of these women were just killing time until the Old Man came home.

As a girl avatar I could make love my way and I sure did.I made love to many gay/bi women and note the term “made love”. We never “fucked”. I would give them 100% of my effort towards making them melt into the bed, claw the walls, scream my name, messing and squirting as I held them to me tightly and kissed them speaking tender words of affection. I gave them my all taking nothing for myself except the knowledge that someplace in the world a woman would sleep well being thoroughly loved to pieces and knowing her value as a priceless treasure. My efforts led to the sad part mentioned above: many of the women fell in love with me and begged me to partner. This if course I could not do. They were lesbian and would want to marry another real life women; not a fake one. In these caes I would make some polite excuse and kiss them goodbye pointing out that we had just met and how could they love me?

My adventures as a “gay woman” also lead to a very strange situation. My lover who moments ago had been having multiple orgasms, screaming with pleasure, beggng me “don’t stop it’s so good” and even asking me to partner would, if she learned I was a man in real life immediatly accuse me of raping and sexually violating her. She’d threaten to file abuse reports and suddenly thought I was the most evil piece of shit she had ever met. I even met one woman who insisted that if she ever met a man as gentle and loving as I am she’d stop being lesbian. When I told her she had indeed met a man “as gentle and loving as I am” she realized that I was a man in real life and gave me the same “rape” rage. I have had women seek me out and follow me hurling cureses and asking me if I enjoyed masturbating at them while I raped them. I never SAID I was a woman in real life EVER and they never ASKED! Holy crap, if I roleplay a dog or a kitteh must I clearly state I am a human being in real life so I don’t “rape” innocent people when they scritch my ears and rub my belly? This is a virtual world. Humans play animals. Adults play kids. Old people play young people. Women play men and men play women. I had enough of that “rape” shit. I also had enough of giving 100% and never getting so when I came to Inworldz I became “shemale”. I need love too as selfish as that is.

By the way I hate that term. A “shemale” is a “Ladyboy” He’s a gay guy who gets boobs and pretends to be a woman in order to sell sex. He’s a messed-up male prostitute. A “transexual” is a man who sees himself as a woman and may or may not get surgery to that end. I play a shapshifter so I am a girl, a guy, a kitteh, a baby, a Shmoo and other other forms. My main form though is a gynomorphic male so I guess “chick with a dick” will do.

The Non-Sexual Reasons I Play A Girl:

I love to help people and most people will readily accept help from a pretty girl rather than some guy. I have done experiments. I’d use my male account, meet new female avatars and ask them if they needed help. They would often respond “No,thank you. I’m fine” or “No, go away, you aren’t getting any sex from me”. {HUH?} I would then return logged into my female account, wander over and ask the same person. This time I would hear “Oh, yes, Hun. I’m so lost. Please help me”. Male avatars would often respond “I’m cool, Dude” when asked by the guy and “I sure do, Sweetheart” when asked by the girl. I have a much greater acceptance rate at helping when I’m in my female form. This holds true for both worlds. Many times I need help myself. Yes of course men get help. I don’t deny that at all but people go out of their way to help a pretty girl.

I have a silly sense of humor and love to kid around and have fun. If you have seen me in the groups you know how I am. Tell me a guy could act like that; I dare ya! Tell me Balpien or Jim could say “Well,:PPPP” to the group and get away with it. Tell me Hairy could wear a plunger on his head at a dance club and not have people think he was retarded or something. Tell me a guy could do most of the stuff that I do and not have people think he’s screwed in the head. Women can do all that though. PRETTY GIRLS HAVE MORE FUN!

I also have a need to be loved and as egotistical as it is I much prefer to hear “Logan, welcome Dear. So good to see you. We missed you, Sweets. huggles and kisses” vs “‘Sup, Dude?” when I enter a club. Yeah, I want to get love as wellas give it.

I have a deep seated hatred of woman abusers and combined with my (sometimes evil) sense of humor I can play my favorite game in Secondlife. It’s called “Trolling For Asswipes”. If you go to a dance club and greet a strange woman you don’t know with “OK, Bitch. You come. We fuck now” you may get a nasty suprise. My avatar is NO LADY and has a 14 inch penis resrved for fuckwads like you. On the other hand ask nicely and you may get a dance and a little cheek kiss from a sweet girl.

I must add that in two years now I have met one fuckwad in Inworldz. Over in “The Evil Grid” it’s more like I met two or three a night at some places.

Women have so much to wear in the virtual worlds. Woman have outfits, shoes, makeup and so much more. A man can be kinda handsome but that’s all. He has a choice of T-shirt and jeans, Punk, tux and maybe biker. A woman can be amazingly sexy, beautiful and has a choice of hundreds of outfit possibilities. I have to look at my avatar for hours per day. Given the choice I’d much rather look at a hot sexy beautiful girl than some guy. I’d much rather see this eye-popping angel of loveliness than some dude. Yes it’s still me no matter what the avatar but I have to look at the avatar.

I made my Logan avatar totally for me. She is my dream girl. She looks like the kind of woman that melts my heart and I’d marry in a second. She’s my beautiful Barbie Doll ™ I can dress and make look the way I want. Before you judge that statement, I don’t dress her all sexy and beat off at her. Logan is a “Girl Next Door”; not a slut. She doesn’t wear slave silks or a BDSM collar.I don’t dress her in stripper clothes with an open crotch. I don’t put her in sexual poses unless I’m working on a bed. Logan is my sweet, sexy, sassy, beautiful girl-next-door/marry in a second/Mother of my children type woman. I love to look at her. She makes me so happy to see her. She lights up my boring life. She gives me something to look at and smile. No, I have never had sex with her even using an alt unless, again, it’s while testing beds.

Logan is my pride, my joy and my fantasy woman. She’s a sweet lovable girl who I can watch interact with the world every day and though her with the love she gives and the love she gets I can face each day of my life and not want to go eat a can of Draino(tm).

All this is why I, a real life straight man play a hot smexy girl in Inworldz.

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2 thoughts on “Why I play a girl avatar by Logan Stargazer”

  1. Logan,

    That was a thoughtful and insightful story. It really points out how our stereotypes around femininity & masculinity are so very hurtful. Maybe, virtual reality will, someday, hopefully, lead to a better understanding of what it is to be ourselves, not our expected ‘roles’.

    I have almost the opposite experience in these worlds & reality for that matter. As an intelligent, strong, outspoken woman, who knows her own mind, can make her own decisions, & can take care of herself, I often find men to be intimidated or turned off by me. Not that I mind, it does serve it’s purpose as a natural filter to weed out those who are too controlling, emotionally damaged, narrow minded, or ‘programmed’ for my tastes. But, it does show how our stereotypical expectations based on gender are damaging to the human spirit – if you let it be.

    I’m glad to know you and to see how you, like me, have struggled to come to terms with the world while keeping your spirit, your feelings, your mind intact and true to yourself. I haven’t found it necessary to be a male avatar to be a strong person but, in the real world, pretending to be a man has been a traditional way for women to garner the respect and the inalienable rights a man typically inherits upon birth.

    When will this foolishness stop? Why must we fake who we are to be who we are? To have the respect, the rights, the expectations every human being deserves? To be gentle, to be strong, to be vulnerable, to be true to how we express and carry ourselves as needful & caring sentient beings?

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